I have noticed lately a lot of posts about having a second child, when is the best time? what is the best age gap? All these different things to consider, and I don't know if it's the Royal baby arriving, or Ewans first Birthday coming up, but I have been thinking a lot about how those first few months went, going from one to two children, so I thought I would share my personal experience.
When I found out that I was expecting Ewan, it was a month before Toms second birthday. I always had it in my head that I wanted my children to have the same age gap as my brother and I, that and the fact that my body needed to be relatively young to carry a child safely, so I knew they would be relatively close in age (they are 2 years and 7 months apart).
Being pregnant with a toddler is not a walk in the park, Tom was always a very easy going baby, eat, sleep, play. Just a joy to be with, but he hit his gross motor skill milestones relatively quickly, so from 7 months we were on the go with him none stop, we knew that this was going to be one toddler that didn't like to sit still for long!
So let's just say that in that first trimester, there wasn't a lot of time to rest and let my body sleep because I was busy chasing a toddler about, I sailed through the second trimester relatively easily (apart from the sciatica, oh and the SPD) the third trimester was tough.. I would tell you more but I fear I have a mental block on those last 3 months!!
Anyway, Ewan arrived Via C-section, which didn't go straight forward, but I'll save that for another blog post, I was in a state of euphoria that my baby had gotten here safe and sound and we were both doing well. Right from the word go, Ewan let us know that he was a kid that knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was Mummy... literally.. none stop, I think I had text Matt that night telling him that he was going to be a little diva, and sure enough he was!
Don't get me wrong, I always wanted a 'cuddly' baby, that was one thing Tom never was, but my god I wish those two had been the other way around, as I felt constantly stuck to the sofa with a sleeping baby on me, unable to play with my eldest who desperately needed some attention.
Those first couple of weeks, Tom found extremely tough I think, Ewan was taking up so much of my time and energy, I was trying to establish breast feeding, which wasn't going great due to Ewan having a tongue tie, So I was pumping my milk 8 times a day so that I had enough for every feed, it felt like I was spending all of my time feeding! Ewan also suffered with very bad acid reflux, and eventually was prescribed ranitidine, which was a god send! But before that happened, we were dealing with a screaming baby every evening for hours on end, I was physically and mentally drained, thank god Matt was home with me for 3 weeks, he would try and spend as much time with Tom as he could, whilst I tried to bond with Ewan. I felt myself almost detach from Tom in a way, I would cry about it a lot to Matt, feeling guilty that I couldn't split myself in two for them both, I would say that was the main feeling I had in those first months, guilt, guilt for not being there completely for both of my kids. Of course things settled down when Ewan turned around 4 months old, he was like a new baby, smiling, laughing, just generally being a happy baby, which of course makes everything just seem worth while. Tom came round to the idea of another little person being part of our family too and the both of them adore each other now (not without a little sibling rivalry though).
So believe it or not, this is the short version! I have rambled plenty I'm sure, for me, going from one to two children was harder than going from zero to one! Both my children are complete opposites which threw me through a loop. Don't get me wrong, there are aspects that are so much easier about having a second child, you are much more laid back about things, and you feel more confident in your parenting decisions,
So when deciding when is the best time to have another.. I would say to just go with that gut feeling, whatever time you choose, there will always be things about it that were right or wrong, so there's never really a right time, just the same as there's never really a right time to have your first.
Let me know your experiences at going from one to two children (if you have done it yet) I'm sure everyone has vastly different experiences.